Which Koozie Are You? A Quick Quiz to Find Out

It's gonna be a hot one today, so we've got plenty of cold drinks stocked up for tonight.

But drinking a cold drink means holding a cold drink, and you may not want your hand to get cold along the way. For that, we've got a wide range of koozies that we (mostly Ted) have collected over the years, and you'll have your pick as to which one you'd like to use.

But which one will you choose?

Take a look through the selections available, and then read the descriptions of each to determine which one fits you best.

You should select [number] if...

1
You went to, or are a fan of, Boston College--or of eagles in general (2 available!)

2
You're not intimidated by the heat, and  also think it's funny to put a puffy jacket on a can.

3
You went to, or are a fan of, Boston College,  and you went to a homecoming there once.

4
You're hoping the New York Red Bulls have a respectable season this year, even though NYCFC won MLS Cup last year, and the Red Bulls (to date) have still never won it.

5
You are potentially willing to take this koozie home with you, because Ted was very glad to be done with the New York City Marathon 50th anniversary after it finally finished.

6
You think every day should be Saint Patrick's Day, or you'd at least be willing to sign a petition to make it a national holiday.

7
You're interested in leaning into more of a "wine mom" persona in the near future.

8
You connect on a personal level with this song.

9
You're hoping the New Jersey Devils have a respectable season this year, even though they've made the playoffs once in the last decade.

10
You need to catch the 5:16 to Ronkonkoma to catch your kid's tee-ball game, but want to sneak one in beforehand.

11
You're not sure why people celebrate Cinco de Mayo so heavily, given that it's celebrated only in a small area of Mexico, but you're not going to pass up the opportunity to put a poncho over your bottle.

12
You believe in safety first.

13
You still quote episodes of The Simpsons, even though you're beginning to realize that some of the episodes are more than 30 years old at this point.

14
You'd like to hear aallllll about what Ted's been working on this summer.

15
You're hoping the New York Mets have a respectable season this year, and that they can hold on to their lead in the NL East.

16
You'd like to hear aallllll about what Ted worked on at some point in like 2016 or 2017.